青柳诊所手记52

青柳诊所手记52

今天的阳光真好，露水在新长出来的树叶上闪亮。两年前我们亲手种植的樱桃树现在已经结果了，青色的果子紧紧攀附在树枝上，就如一个吮着奶汁的婴儿。

早些时候阿里医生买了一些还未孵化的蜜蜂回来，他说这样可以给果树授粉。这是我第一次看到还在茧子里的蜜蜂。阿里医生带着我来到它们的小巢前，让我看那些小小的昆虫如何自己咬破茧子在里面蠢蠢欲动。当我协助一只刚刚羽化的幼蜂破茧而出并把它放到盛开的花丛中时，我感到自己就如一个顺利接生的产科医生一样，又感动又如释重负。

除了果树和玫瑰，院里最生机盎然的就是薄荷、竹子、金银花和枸杞。它们蓬勃的生命力让人敬畏。

C是非常有意思的一个病人。上次他来看病时我问他我是否可以把他写进我的文章里，他说完全没有问题，所以今天我就特意写写他。

C的青年和中年都过得很不顺。他的父母因为他的信仰跟他们不一样，跟他几乎反目为仇了。几十年来如一日，孑然一身的他过着安静而简陋的生活。他的健康状况不是特别好，他来找我的时候，里里外外上上下下都痛。我注意到他的鼻子是红的，眼睛是红的，耳朵是红的。我摸摸他的后背，发现它紧巴巴的就像橡胶一样。他的皮肤热得烫手，但他却抱怨胸腔里冷得让他颤抖。他的舌头前半部几乎是赤红色，脉搏弦而紧。再摸摸他的脚，寒得就如冰块一样。明显地，他的气血极不均衡，身体里充满了紧张和不和谐。

我给他针灸后，又叫他去花园里采了一些草药带回家煮茶喝。

他第二次来找我时，他告诉我那些草药煮过的水是他喝过的最好的饮料。那天正好是他五十岁的生日。我笑着问：“今天真的是你的生日吗？生日你不介意被扎针？”

他腼腆地点点头：“来看你们，这就是我送给自己的生日礼物。”

他第三次来找我们时，我触碰他的脸和脖子，觉得它们都变得凉爽和松软了。他说身体里的疼痛减轻了许多，血压也明显降低了不少。

他第四次来时，我发现短短不到几个星期，他的状况有了极大的改善，他一反前几次抑郁沮丧的表情，整个人看上去容光焕发神采奕奕。

“你的生命中，一定有什么特别的事情发生了，“我肯定地说。

他快乐地点头微笑。

原来他现在除了上班，晚上还去中国城做义工，即所谓的夜间巡逻（night patrol）。从晚上九点到凌晨一点，他跟在两辆板车后面，在黑暗而肮脏的小巷子里慢慢穿行，一面走，一面给途中邂逅的无家可归的人发三明治和矿泉水。

他说：“我第一次值班的那个晚上，天下着阴冷的雨，我也没带伞，到处是黑压压的一片，充满了垃圾和老鼠。我也不觉得冷，也不觉得累，也不感到害怕，反而心怦怦跳着兴奋得很。你相信吗，我值班的第一个晚上就救了一个人？我们遇到他时他已经停止了呼吸，他的女友在一旁哭泣着。我和我的同伴们硬是通过心脏复苏把他给救回来了，后来救生员来了，也给他注射了一针。那天我回到家时已经快天亮了，第二天我照样去上班，该干嘛就干嘛，一点也不觉得有什么不适……”

他用孩童般清亮的眼睛看着我：“我第一次发现生活是这么有意思有意义。从小我就觉得自己不属于这个世界， 仿佛是个外星人。我没有一点归属感，就像一只漂泊的船，总也找不到自己靠岸的港口。 18岁结婚，五年后离婚。从此这里打打工，那里打打工，谋生而已。我的生活是如此简朴，我随时可以把我所有的一切塞在一个车子里就整装待发。可是自从我做了这个义工以后，一切都变得那么不同了…… 我现在忽然发现，我以前受的那些苦难根本就不值一提。我的健康状况也改善了许多。我很感恩，是我的心理治疗师指引我找到了这个夜间巡逻的工作。我也很感恩认识了你们，我感觉你们在我身上做的工作跟我的心理治疗师差不多……”

我已经好些日子没有见到C了。我想他也许几乎不需要我们的治疗了。

现在我坐在浇过水的草药旁，太阳正暖暖地照在我的身上，我的耳朵里响起一个智者曾经说过的话：“一个圆圈之所以圆，是因为它有着一个圆心。一个人也一样，只要他有一个圆心，他的生命就在走向圆满中….”

从一个医师的角度来理解这句话，我想，它就是：每一个患者都被自己关押在一扇被尘封的窗户后。当这扇窗户一打开，新鲜空气涌进来，他就很难有严重的健康问题了。就算还有，也不过只是暂时的。

Whispering of Willows 52

By Dr. Anna Zhao

Today's sunshine is so beautiful; the dew is shining on the newly formed leaves. The cherry tree we planted two years ago has fresh fruit blossoms that are starting to form; the green fruit clinging tightly to the branches, like a baby sucking his mother’s milk.

Earlier, Dr. Ali brought some unhatched bees to the garden, saying that they will help the pollination of our fruit trees. This is the first time I saw bees in cocoons. Dr. Ali took me to their nests and showed me how the tiny insect bites through the cocoon and wiggles its body out gently. When I helped a newly emerged young bee break out of its cocoon and put it on a blossom, I felt like an obstetrician who successfully delivered a baby; touched and relieved.

In addition to fruit trees and roses, the most vibrant plants in the yard are mint, bamboo, honeysuckle and Goji berries. Their vigorous vitality is nothing but awe-inspiring.

C is a very interesting patient. The last time he came to see us, I asked him if I could write about him in my next article, and he said it was his pleasure to be included in our Whispering of Willows, which he enjoys reading.

Life hit C pretty hard during his youth and middle age. His parents pretty much turned against him because he had defied their belief system. For decades, he lived an isolated and simple life. His health was not very good. When he came to see us, he was in pain all over. I noticed that his nose was red, his eyes were red, and his ears were bright red. I touched his back and neck, realizing they were tight like hard rubber. His skin was hot to my touch, but he complained that inside his chest it was so chilly that it often gave him shivers. The front half of his tongue was utterly red, and his pulse was wiry and tight. His feet felt like ice cubes in my hands. Obviously, according to TCM, his energy and blood were extremely unbalanced, and his body was full of tension and disharmony.

After acupuncture, I asked him to accompany me to pick some herbs from the garden and take them home to make tea.

When he came to see me for the second time, he told me that the boiled herbs were the most delicious drink he had ever had. That day happened to be his 50th birthday, so I asked with a smile: "C, is it really your birthday today? Do you mind being stabbed with needles on your birthday?"

He nodded with a timid smile: "Coming to see you is the birthday gift I gave to myself."

The third time he came, I touched his face and neck and felt that they had become cool and soft. He said that the pain in his body had been reduced considerably, and his blood pressure had also dropped significantly.

When he came for the fourth time, it occurred to me that within such a short time, his condition had improved greatly. He appeared radiant and vibrant, very unlike the first few times he came when he was so gloomy and anxious.

"Something special must have happened in your life," I said to him.

He nodded and smiled happily.

It turned out that in addition to his regular job, he also went to Chinatown to volunteer at night, the so-called night patrol. From nine o'clock in the evening to one o'clock in the morning, he followed two wagons walking slowly through the dark and dingy alleys of the most notorious areas in Vancouver, handing out sandwiches and bottled water to the homeless passing by.

He went on: "On the night of my first shift, it was drizzling, cold and dark, I didn't bring an umbrella. Everywhere was full of garbage, rats running back and forth. I didn't feel cold, tired or scared. Instead, my heart was pounding with excitement and happiness. Can you believe the first night I worked we actually saved a person’s life? When we met him, he had already stopped breathing, his girl friend crying beside him. My companions and I revived him through CPR, the paramedics also gave him an injection.

“It was very late when I got home. The next day I went to work as usual and did what I had to do. I didn't feel any discomfort at all..."

He looked at me with his childlike shimmering eyes: "For the first time, I found that life is so interesting and meaningful. Since I was a child, I felt that I didn't belong to this world, as if I was an alien. I didn't have any sense of belonging, like a drifting boat, unanchored. I got married at the age of 18 and divorced five years later. From then on, I worked here and there to make ends meet. My life is so simple that I can throw everything I own into a car and am ready to hit the road any time. But since I became a night patroller, everything has become so interesting... It suddenly dawned to me that the sufferings I had before were not worth mentioning at all. My health has also improved a lot. I am very grateful that my counsellor led me find this night patrol position. I am also grateful to have met you. I feel that the work you do for me is very similar to that of my counselor’s..."

I haven't seen C for a long time. I think he hardly needs our treatment now.

Now I am sitting next to my freshly watered herbs, the sun radiating warmly on me, I feel I can hear the words of a sage I studied: "A circle is round because it has a center. The same is true for a person. As long as they have a center, the life they lead will be complete..."

From a therapist's perspective, I think it means that every patient is imprisoned behind a dusty window. When this window is suddenly opened, with fresh air pouring in, he will no longer suffer from ailments. Even if they still have symptoms, they will be temporary.